Elias Donovan died unexpectedly at his home on January 10th, 2018. (By "unexpectedly" we mean we've been wishing death on him for decades, we just never thought it would actually happen).
Elias is survived by his four children, three ex-wives, one brother and two sisters. (Not to mention his "caregiver" Isabella, whom his brother Aiden swears he saw dancing at the Pink Rhino before they met).
Mr. Donovan spent many happy years as CEO and Chairman of the Board at Donovan Enterprises, a company he expanded after his father passed away unexpectedly at the company headquarters in 1983. (Dad was pretty surprised when he died at work, especially since it was on top of his secretary.)
Mr. Donovan often said his proudest accomplishment was raising his children, Ray Jr., a physician, Margaret, a computer programmer, Richard, a scientist at NASA, and Billy, who is currently employed in the food service industry. (And the only reason I'm waiting tables is because dad threatened to cut me off if I didn't get a job. But those days are over, Cha-ching!)
Elias was a devout member of St. Mark's Episcopal Church of New Canaan. (We'll write them a check and I'm sure they'll be happy to have the service there.)
A visitation is scheduled for Monday at the Stassney Funeral Home. (You better believe we're having an open casket, we want to make sure he's dead.)
In lieu of flowers, kindly consider making a donation to the United Negro College Fund. (In addition to making our lives miserable, he was an unrepentant racist. We can only hope this keeps him spinning in his grave in perpetuity.)